The Academy should keep Return of the Rings as top film
Hollywood does a few things well. Sensitive, layered, and subtle films about interesting topics aren't their forte; simple, overblown and slightly ridiculous is what Tinseltown does best. I think that's why this year's Academy Awards ceremony wasn't all it could be.
Traditionally the Academy Awards, meant to celebrate the best of Hollywood's annual production line, goes completely over the top with silly and wrong-headed musical numbers, endless speeches thanking everyone's agent, lawyer and publicist, and a bemused host keeping everything safe for Middle America.
This year's Oscars didn't have any of that. All the ingredients were still in play, but things got shuffled around and changed somewhat, most noticeably with the appearance of Chris Rock as the master of ceremonies. Rock, an intelligent, critical and sometimes offensive comedian, isn't the guy you point to and say he'll keep things on an even keel. Rock isn't afraid to speak his mind, loudly and often. He did bring a little edge to this year's effort, particularly when he used Fahrenheit 9/11 to launch a tirade against George W. Bush (and I think you all know how much I enjoy a little Dubya bashing) but the Academy seemed to be conspiring against him, as the host of the show was given less and less screen time as the show progressed. If nothing else, Rock's somewhat mean-spirited joking about Jude Law being in every movie made in the last five years (a reasonable estimate of his prodigious output) forced Sean Penn to finally show the world what a humorless clod he truly is. He admonished Rock for mocking his fellow actors; he would have been better served by trying to find that sense of humor he's obviously misplaced. Or maybe Penn just isn't on the top of his game unless he's punched out a few photographers.
But Oscar's other decisions seemed a trifle wrong headed. In some categories, all the nominees were carted onstage, before the winners received their golden trophy. That's a little too much public humiliation for people who are supposed to be celebrating the pinnacle of their craft. At other points in the night, the awards were given out in the aisles of the auditorium, though tellingly only for technical and other less lauded aspects of film production. Was it a different way to present the awards? Yes. Did it work? No.
The whole evening had the feel of an afternoon talk show, and maybe it isn't entirely the fault of the ceremony.
This year's crop of movies wasn't up to the standards of previous award winners. I haven't seen all of the nominated films, but the consensus amongst critics seems to be this is one of Oscar's weakest years in recent memory. So I've got a solution to the problem. Return of the King swept the awards last year, to the everlasting delight of film fans and Lord of the Rings nerds everywhere.
My plan is to award Return of the King with the Best Picture award every year until another film beats its epic sweep, amazing effects and unquestionable quality.
With any luck, my plan will either force Hollywood to make better films or just give up completely. Either way, the audience wins.
