So, have your best opportunities for romance come and gone? Flown the coop? Ridden off into your sunset years?
Poppycock!
Grey hair and a few wrinkles do not extinguish the desire to connect with a new love or stay connected to an old one.
Don’t believe it – not even for one second? Married, divorced, widowed or never married – seniors are out and about preserving or looking for love.
You will find them in the coffee houses smiling at each other with a twinkle in their eyes, holding hands while they walk along the pathways beside the lake and dancing the evening away at the Osoyoos Senior Centre. The single ones are even online on Plenty of Fish.
There are love stories being written in the lives of the grandmas and grandpas on your street every single day – even in Osoyoos.
Some have lived an amazing life, maintaining a long-term marriage that is still filled with sparkle and romance.
It is a fallacy that is perpetuated by the young – and we all were young once – that love fizzles and dies as you age. Long term or new – relationships flourish among the ‘new old agers’.
But, what if you fall into that ‘other’ category – single again?
It doesn’t matter what age appears on your passport – you know it’s never too late to find love.
This is the “ageless you,” who experiences a ripple of anticipation at the thought of new romantic possibilities.
Before you head off to play bridge or go line dancing, how about a chat about the many pitfalls that might face a more senior single.
First and foremost, don’t act your age. That’s right – have fun.
Drop the overly serious facade you had to maintain when you were raising your own teenagers and embrace your playful, unpredictable side.
Some dating rules have changed, but you will never error if you exercise your good sense of humour, embrace spur-of-the-moment fun and feed your adventuresome soul.
Be present in the moment. Remember your teenaged self? Yes, that one.
You rarely dwelt on the past – because you didn’t have a very long one. If you are single again, chances are you have faced some significant losses: the death of a cherished partner or a divorce that tested your authenticity.
Be careful not to wear those experiences on your sleeve and let them dominate conversation when dating again.
Focus on enjoying the person sitting next to you right now.
Leave your kids at home. That’s right. You heard me.
Although your children are adults now and not clinging to pant leg, they can still tag along on your date if you take their opinions too seriously.
OK – sure. Listen to their concerns about who you see, where you might go or what you might do.
Listen – and then live your own life.
My own daughter would voice her concerns when she could not get an answer to a call at 10:30 the night before.
I listened – and then moved on, embarrassed to share with her how I had had a similar conversation with my 80-year old mother a decade before.
Each date is a fresh start. Resist the temptation to compare each new person with your past partner.
Senior dating is not about finding a replacement. It is about starting a brand new adventure, finding new things to love about another person.
It will be different. I never knew how fun it could be to go to world music festivals, taste beef sate in Malaysia instead of the restaurant down the street, or rock to a Rod Stewart music video into the wee hours until I said “I will” and headed out the door with a new someone in my life.
Finally, remember this. Love is exciting and meaningful at any age. Have adventures, be present, be free – and your heart will take you magical places.
EILEEN HOPKINS
Special to the Times
