Joyce Steeves (Contributed photo)
Christmas is the perfect time of year to reflect on the things we are thankful for.
In fact, regular expressions of gratitude can help get us into the Christmas spirit and keep us feeling happier throughout the year.
In his book, Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, psychologist and author Robert Emmons asserts that when we take the time to be grateful we experience more positive emotions.
We are kinder and more compassionate toward others. We also sleep better and have healthier immune systems.
Just thinking about all you appreciate can increase happiness and your overall sense of well-being.
One psychology study demonstrated that a single expression of gratitude provides an immediate 10 per cent boost in happiness and a 35 per cent decrease in depressive symptoms. Moreover, these effects can last up to six months.
An act of gratitude can be as simple as saying thank you or telling someone how much you care about them.
This evening during dinner, model the concept of gratitude to your children. Tell them about something you are grateful for. Be specific. It might be something like:
• “I am grateful for the little girl in the store today who helped me pick up the coins that fell out of my change purse.”
• “I am grateful for Johnny for helping me make dinner even though it wasn’t his turn tonight.”
Then go around the table and ask each family member to do the same.
When they get in the habit of sharing their grateful moments they will experience an increase in happiness on a daily basis. Being grateful can also improve your relationships with your family.
In a recent study, participants noticed that after their partner received gratitude they were more sympathetic to their needs and more satisfied with the relationship overall.
These positive effects were evident up to nine months later. Therefore, to reap the benefits of gratitude make a point of telling your spouse and children how much you appreciate or care about them everyday.
The effects of gratitude can last even longer when you write down the positive things that have happened to you. For example, a University of Pennsylvania study found that when participants wrote and sent heartfelt thank you notes or letters they felt happier for a full month afterward.
The researchers also found that writing three positive occurrences everyday for week kept happiness levels elevated for as long as six months.
Keeping a gratitude journal can further enhance these benefits. But, you need to keep your brain on the lookout for new, grateful moments by training it to see the specifics in a particular situation.
For example, simply writing, “I am grateful for my husband” becomes “I am grateful for my husband because he washed and vacuumed my car when I was too busy to do it myself.”
Or, “I am grateful for my friend because she brought over a casserole when I was sick.”
That way, your gratitude journal will have a more specific focus. When you become better at recognizing the good in your life, you feel more grateful more often.
A Gratitude Jar is another way to document your thankful moments.
Anytime a significant event occurs that you are grateful for, write it down on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. Then on New Year’s Eve or your birthday, read them aloud.
When good things happen, you can also say, “That is one for the Gratitude Jar!” This will enhance the experience and make you more aware of moments like it.
Thus, being aware of life’s positives can help you recognize even more things to be grateful for.
When you acknowledge these events with thoughts, words or on paper – your attitude of gratitude will last throughout the year. And, you will be happier and healthier.
Joyce Steeves has a Master’s Degree in Counselling Psychology. She worked for almost 20 years as a teacher and 10 years as a school counsellor. She moved to Osoyoos in April and has recently opened a counselling practice for adults, adolescents and children. For more information visit her website at www.joycesteeves.com.
