The deaths of several celebrities in 2016 stopped many of us in our tracks.
It made us think about our own mortality and how long we have before we kick the bucket.
I think people should live until at least 85, not 60. Sixty is too young because there are many life-changing television shows yet to experience. Oh, and many quarrels left to win with stubborn relatives who sit around all day and do nothing. (Disclaimer: Names, characters and events are fictional; any resemblance to actual persons in your family is purely coincidental.)
For example, Uncle Roderick, who’s 70, eats half of the After Eights and puts the empty sleeves back in the box. He’s a real swell guy who farts at the dinner table and snores on the couch when you’re trying to watch a movie.
Meanwhile, Aunt Evelyn, bless her dear soul, can’t hear a thing. No wonder everyone yells at her and she still keeps smiling.
Maybe it’s her age, but she has this habit of laughing at the most inopportune time. For instance, Roderick fell down the stairs and ended up in a fetal position. Evelyn took one look at him and burst out laughing, then helped him to his favourite chair and turned on the TV. He was okay because he didn’t want to go to the hospital; moaned something about not wanting to be the poster boy for the geriatric ward.
At 92, Grandma Eunice is the most sane of the bunch, although she tends to live in the past – try the 1800s. She’s quite strict and always wants to give everyone a spanking, including Roderick. We love her, but we wish she’d stop sewing everyone’s clothes together.
Seriously though, one must think about one’s mortality. If you keep putting off your bucket list, one day there won’t be a bucket (only the one you kicked over).
Some of us already have regrets, such as not hugging our daughters enough when they were young. Now they don’t want hugs, saying they are “gross.”
One would think these celebrities could have prolonged their lives with all the money they had. Money can buy health, but it can’t change your fate or convince your heart not to have a coronary.
So folks, the message is simple: if you feel the desire to do something, do it now before your bucket is kicked. That doesn’t mean telling your relatives how you really feel about them. Unless you truly love them, of course.
It means starting that book you’ve always wanted to write. It means travelling to that exotic location you’ve been dreaming about. Asking that awesome girl or guy for a date. Mending that family dispute; the list goes on.
The fact is death waits for no one. It may come quickly or slowly, but don’t give it the satisfaction of taking you without a smile on your face.
Lyonel Doherty, editor
