For Roxie Van Aller, leaving Desert Sun Counselling and Resource Centre is almost like leaving a child.
It’s that hard.
The well-known women’s advocate is saying goodbye to the organization after 11 years working under its umbrella.
The executive director has accepted a new position at Kelowna Women’s Shelter.
“It’s hard to leave, but I feel it’s the right thing to do,” she stated.
Her husband Mitch Van Aller, former director of facilities for School District 53, is now working for the Kelowna board of education.
But as Roxie looks around Desert Sun’s new office space on Fairview Road, she can’t help but shake her head.
“I can’t believe I’m leaving after waiting so long to get here.”
But because Desert Sun’s staff are so “amazingly dedicated,” that’s actually the reason she can leave.
“These people are really committed to working together for positive change in the community.”
No doubt her staff would say the same thing about her.
Roxie has been an advocate for women nearly all of her life.
It began professionally in Creston 20 years ago. After working as a labourer at an extended care facility (where Mitch also worked), she accepted a women’s counselling position at a non-profit organization. She worked there for nine years before moving to Oliver as a women’s counsellor at Desert Sun.
Despite constantly listening to women’s stories of sadness and abuse, Roxie has never burned out.
“I have hope . . . to see change happen where people reach out for help. It’s a privilege to have their trust.”
Roxie said these women are inspiring in the way they survive and move forward in life.
When she started her career, there weren’t many programs for abused women, and certainly none or very little for men.
“I’ve always believed that it’s great to help women, but why aren’t we helping the men?”
Roxie said people who use violence to control others often have their own history of abuse.
She noted that people have been afraid to talk about violence perpetrated by men.
“It’s not male bashing. By providing support, that’s breaking the cycle (of abuse).”
Roxie can’t say enough about sports organizations such as the BC Lions speaking out against domestic violence. She referred to “tough” football players denouncing the abuse of women and bringing the issue to the forefront.
“This is huge. I was never a football fan, but I am now.”
Roxie commended the work being done by former all-star football player Jackson Katz, an anti-sexist activist and author of the book “The Macho Paradox.”
According to Roxie, having male role models like Katz step forward is the biggest thing that has happened in the fight against domestic violence.
Roxie sympathizes with males who are caught up in an unhealthy culture of masculinity.
“It’s very difficult to be a young man growing up in such a narrow stereotype of what it means to be a man.”
Roxie agreed with the notion that many people would be shocked to learn what goes on behind closed doors in their community. She also agreed that Oliver and Osoyoos are no different than other communities where domestic violence raises its ugly head.
Fortunately, people have Desert Sun and other support mechanisms to help them deal with their problems.
Roxie said the most requested service at Desert Sun is marriage counselling, which it does not offer.
“We’d like to find a way to offer this counselling . . . it’s something we’ve talked about for years.”
Roxie said marriages need tune-ups just like vehicles do.
Not only will the executive director miss her colleagues, she’s going to miss all the clients and their inspiring success stories.
Lyonel Doherty
Oliver Chronicle
