Joyce Steeves (Contributed photo)
Many children experience anxiety when they think about starting or returning to school in September.
Anxious thoughts can lead to physical symptoms such as increased breathing and heart rate, stomach aches, sleep disruption as well as school avoidance behaviours.
As a parent or caregiver, you may be able to help you child learn to deal with their anxiety by following these simplified steps:
• Explain to your child that anxiety is normal. Everyone experiences anxiety. It is an important emotion because is warns us when facing danger. For example, many people feel anxious when in high places or near deep water. Anxiety also helps students perform their best on a test or a class presentation. During this discussion, remind your child that anxious feelings do not last.
• Show you child how to stay calm by slowing down breathing. Ask your child to breathe very slowly through the nose and out through the mouth even more slowly. A younger child can pretend there is a balloon in his or her belly. They can use their hands to feel the air filling up the balloon and then deflating. Have your child start off with five calm breaths. Each day they can add another breath until they are able to do 20 breaths comfortably when they need to calm down.
• Teach your child to recognize negative thoughts about going back to school. For example, they may be thinking, “What if I don’t have any friends in my class this year?” or, “What if I don’t understand the math?”
• Encourage your child to use thinking that is more realistic. For example, “I made new friends last year … I can make new friends again this year” or, “I figured out the math last year and I will figure it out again.”
• Help your child make a positive self-talk charge that includes several steps. You may need to adapt the chart to his or her age level. For example, I can use positive self talk to take care of myself and change my thinking. I can think:
1) Anxiety is normal and everyone has anxiety.
2) My anxiety won’t last. I will get over this.
3) I can slow down my breathing with calm breathing.
4) I made new friends last year, I will can make new friends again this year.
5) I can ask someone I like to play at recess or lunch.
6) I figured out the math last year and I will figure it out again.
7) If I don’t understand something, I can ask my teacher for help when she is not teaching a lesson, at recess, lunch or after school.
Encourage your child to use positive self-talk whenever they feel anxious about going to school. Have your child read aloud the positive self-talk chart several times a day. You may need to read it to your primary school-aged children.
Eventually, your child will have the chart memorized and be able to use the positive self-talk whenever their anxious feelings surface. Keep copies of the chart at home, in the car and at school.
This approach may help your child learn to deal with anxiety that is related to going back to school this fall. The strategies have been adapted from many sources such as AnxietyBC, which has a useful website and books entitled Worry Dragons and Worry Taming for Teens, published by the British Columbia Children’s Hospital.
These resources may provide further information. However, if your child’s anxiety continues to persist, you might consider seeking help from a mental health professional.
JOYCE STEEVES
Special to the Times
Joyce Steeves has a Master’s Degree in Counselling Psychology. She worked for nearly 20 years as a teacher and 10 years as a school counsellor. She has recently opened a private counselling practice for adults, adolescents and children in Osoyoos. She moved to Osoyoos in April. You can get more information on her website at www.joycesteeves.com.
