My first wife and I drove to the Osoyoos border crossing. There were two lanes open, so I asked, “Which one?” 

My first wife said, “Take the left one.” Big mistake! 

The border guard was old enough to be our grandson and he had the personality of a boiled egg. He looked in a foul, miserable mood and drastically in need of a laugh. 

He told us to turn off the engine and he opened all the doors in our Honda and found less than nothing. But he was just getting started, overly focussed on us it seemed. He asked me why and where we were going. As I answered him, he cut me off halfway with another question. I got an awful, uneasy feeling that things were going to get worse, and I was absolutely (unusually) correct. 

There is a small Ma and Pa type shipping and receiving business on Main Street in Oroville; it comes in real handy if you order something off the internet . . . from a company that doesn’t ship to Canada it gives you an American address. 

I told “Mr. Personality” in his booth that we were picking up an item at the shipping outfit in town for our son, and that it was a $43 computer part not readily available in Canad. I showed him the invoice, and he said, “Why isn’t your son picking it up for himself?” I replied, “ Because he lives in Kamloops and we live in Oliver, and we are much closer to the USA border. 

He strutted back into his hut and started typing something. We were then given a piece of yellow paper with a number on it. He then ordered us to go park our car, and then go into the USA customs area. Huh? 

We waited in line and were then interviewed and questioned extensively and lectured to like we were insolent adolescents. Little or no respect was shown for our ages (70s). 

We were advised that we were now “flagged.” Huh? Flagged? I asked what for? I was instructed (ordered) to calm down. The chap at the counter told us that next time we must go through the commercial trucking entrance and be prepared to pay a $13 US charge, and then he advised us that in the future if we tried to import an article that was meant for business and not for private use we would be facing a $5,000 fine. He smiled a sardonic smile and said that we would be ‘‘let off” this time. We felt threatened. We felt like innocent criminals, and our American neighbours treatment was not appropriate or reasonable at all. 

I stressed again that the item was a computer part worth $43 Canadian. And I again showed them the invoice. I told him that my wife and I had been importing a variety of items over the years as were hundreds of other people with no issues at all. So why now? The chap in the office set his pencil down and told us that the border guard had personally flagged us for whatever reason he had and that they in the office were only following protocol because of his decision. “It’s the way things are done,” he said. 

As we were leaving I told the chap in the office this would be the last time we will be visiting their country. He said, “I am sorry you feel that way sir.” Then he looked around and said, “Next.”

Don Smithyman, Oliver